Saint Aug Dog Newspaper First Confiscated & Banned In
Saint Augustine, Florida, March 5, 1998

Two Vacuum Cleaners (One A Billionaire) And A Barf Bag Will Run For City Commission Seats In Saint Augustine, Florida...

New candidates promise to 'clean up' the city.
Will they conquer the city's Xtrevilism?

By staff reporter Even Parse — for immediate release...
Saint Augustine Florida politics get stranger and stranger with every new day...

Martin Luther King called Saint Augustine Florida the "most lawless" place in America. He would be flabbergasted and dismayed if he could see what is going on in the city today! Two vacuum cleaners and a barf bag have thrown their hats in the ring in the Saint Augustine City Commissioner's race.  

Ireeka Kanister, a billionaire, will run on the Mepublican ticket, Dusteen Dyson will run as a Deceptocrat and Barry Barf will run as an Independs candidate. The Independs party in the state of Florida is now the largest in the country and seventy six year old Barry Barf confidently said, "It's 'in the bag' if I can only remember that I am running for office!"

Ireeka Kanister... the Mepublican candidate...

Ireeka Kanister, the billionaire candidate running on the Mepublican ticket, is like a Donald Chump on steroids. He promises to end the politically correct restrictions in language that stigmatize and prevent citizens from speaking their minds. "Its time to bring the KKK out of the closet and into the open again!" he says. His four point platform includes the following:

1.  Heavy fines and imprisonment for children that chew gum in school.

"Chewing gum in school is an obnoxious act and it is a gateway behavior that leads to terrorism! " he said. He supports presumptive City Police Thief (no, that's not a typo) Barney Fox's program of DNA testing illegally discarded gum (stuck to city sidewalks, the underside of school desks, and city benches) to identify the littering perps. He also supports the presumptive Chief's program of training two battalions of gum sniffing dogs and creating a data base of citizen's DNA that will be used to impose stiff fines on city residents that do not properly dispose of their chewing gum. "These fines will be earmarked to support Big Tourism," Mr. Kanister said, "and of course Tourist Factory customers will be exempt from prosecution."

2. A $1000 bonus per ticket for heroic cops that ticket street artists and musicians.

"These patriotic wealth serving and wealth protecting police heroes do not get enough recognition." he said, "They courageously enforce our immoral, illegal, and unconstitutional Jim Crow laws that eliminate citizen's freedom and opportunity, freeze out our competition, and stifle political opposition thereby allowing us to stay in power, steal the public commons, run roughshod over the residents and control prices and wages. And if the law needs to be bent a little these stalwart and gutsy loyal cops never flinch for a second. Nuremberg be damned! These heroic acts of bravery by the SAPD also result in creating thousands of homeless people because they have been denied opportunity and income. That's a great thing because the swelling homeless population then instills fear and anxiety in all of our workers so that they will accept our crappy, dead end, only game in town, low wage and no benefit jobs."

Mr. Kanister said that if elected he will make a law that requires all citizens with a FICO score under 899 to salute cops and cop cars and impose stiff fines and imprisonment for those who do not comply.

3. An internet license available for straight white rich men only.

"No more Spicks, Dagos, Kikes, Wetbacks, Sand Niggers, Fags, etc. will be allowed on line if I am elected," he said, "These peace and love promoting rainbow ass wipes are ruining our city and our wonderfully privileged way of life."

4. Ban logic and the laws of cause and effect.

"Nothing threatens our privileged way of life and the fantasy make believe pretend world we have created more than logic and understanding the concepts of cause and effect," Mr. Kanister said, "I will ban them all! "

City Mangler (also not a typo) John Pawl Regan and presumptive Police Thief, Barney Fox have both given Mr. Kanister their enthusiastic endorsement.

Dusteen Dyson... the Deceptocrat candidate...

Running on the Deceptocrat ticket, Dusteen Dyson on the surface appears to be a free lunch liberal. She talks incessantly about giving away free stuff, however, examining her three point platform in detail seems to suggest that she might really be blessed with some blossoming integrity. Her platform should have great appeal to those who can cast off their corporate induced divisive brainwashing of hate, fear, and warmongering. Those that instead want to take a new and more peaceful approach to human governance. Here is her platform:

1. Free popcorn on Friday night art walks.

Along with restoring equality of opportunity and integrity to the city she promises to push for free popcorn on Friday night art walks. "Of all the things I have sucked up over my many years of sucking stuff up there is nothing to compare with the wonderful aroma of fresh popcorn," she said, "The smell of fresh popcorn is a right, not a privilege, and I will eliminate all smell taxes."

2. Embolden the "Saint Augustine Residents Count" group.

She also promises to put some backbone in the overly civil and respectful sheep like "Saint Augustine Residents Count" group. "Justice for the few is justice for none," she says, "We are all in this together." She claims the group needs a mission statement that will include the following: recall the present anti resident City Mangler John Pawl Regan who always favors Big Tourism and Big Development; tourism tax mitigation for downtown city residents that have had their quality of life destroyed by Big Tourism; make the Thief of Police an elected office rather than being appointed by the crooked City Mangler; realize that mobility includes the social mobility of individuals and that we have transportation problems downtown because a small group of self anointed elite pig gangsters have selfishly hijacked the city; consolidate the neighborhood associations into one powerful group free of any city organizational constraints; create a map of public commons that have been hijacked for personal use and reclaim them for the citizens; hire an epidemiologist and ban filth and disease spreading street sweepers and blowers in the downtown area;
reduce tourism by 5% a year and replace it with a sustainable core agricultural and maritime based economy that benefits all citizens; eliminate overly loud tourist trolley trains that destroy the tranquility of the city by insisting trolley train owners provide optional headsets for their rider customers. She said she has heard that many trolley rider customers loved the city and the ride but hated the obnoxiously loud speaker systems and the corn ball baloneyspeak from the drivers.

3. Bring back the street artists.

Dusteen Dyson, like current Mayor Nancy Slaver, has pledged to bring back the street artists, but she goes even further than intrepid Mayor Slaver's forcefully courageous code word statement that proclaims "The streets are empty". Dusteen Dyson promises that she will initiate a RICO suit against the city for racketeering, usurpation of the Rule of Law and murder. She is well schooled in logic and the laws of cause and effect and is a big fan of the confiscated and banned "Saint Aug Dog" newspaper.

Barry Barf... the Independs candidate...

Barry Barf, running on the Independs ticket, is a live and let live radical free thinker. His simple two point platform should have great appeal to those disgruntled Libertarians who use to believe that they alone – without the benefits of the hard work of millions of other citizens — have brought themselves up by their own boot straps. Mr. Barf has created a barfing pink Phlem-ingo as his branding icon and will make lawn signs available to Saint Augustine City residents for the duration of the campaign. He suggests security cameras for city residents lawns as barf bags and barfing items have become the hot new collectibles. His two point platform promise is very simple and direct:

1. Opportunity for all, not just the few Xtrevilist sick gangsters that have hijacked our governments at every level here at home and globally.

Mr. Barf passionately described how he would go about restoring opportunity, "Seeing beyond the ever thickening mentacide mist and understanding the true top down orchestrated global societal dynamic presently at play is key to making positive societal change. You must first understand that
the ultimate goal of the top level controlling elite is to create a two tier societal structure of ruler and ruled. They are implementing a stated societal goal of 'full spectrum dominance' where the ruled are slated for a life of 'intentionally created perpetual conflict' and/or eradication at will by the elite. It is in essence a simple control and herd thinning effort. These elite psychopaths do not believe in the sanctity of human life as you and I do. They view other humans the same as any other life form that they can dominate and exploit or kill at will. You must get past their 'Noble Lies' and see the reality they have created through their deceptions"

He went on to say, "It is important to note that our local crooked louche bag politicians and crooked law enforcement are not the prime designers of this evil intentional herd thinning, they are merely opportunist immoral dullard followers. Hitler designed the program to eliminate the Jews but his low brow morally bankrupt followers, drawn to his power and rising status, implemented the evil. Similarly, those self serving opportunists who have taken the reins of evil elite instigated herd thinning and control in today's immoral world are just as complicit and dangerous as those in Hitler's day. My campaign promise is to educate the public to the above dynamic so as to regain control.

People must
realize that the intentionally created divisiveness also serves to mask or conceal the identities of those who are the real problem — the uber wealthy at the top who have created it. Your real target is not skin color, gender identity, sexual preference, religion, etc., your real target is the rich psychopath pigs at the top who have intentionally corrupted the rule of law, and their immoral minions who support and promote them at all levels. Stop adoring and dreaming of acquiring sudden piggish wealth and begin to adore and dream instead of a sustainable world of peace and harmony where an honest days effort is fairly rewarded. I believe that the Saint Aug Dog has got it right in this issue."

2. A
barf bag in front of every TV in Scamerica.

"I decided to run for office because every time I watched a Saint Augustine City Commission meeting on TV I felt like barfing," Mr. Barf said, "and I know that there are thousands of others out there that feel as I do. And then one day while watching regular broadcast TV I realized that it is all a big brainwashing 'paid program' dis-infomercial scam all across the country. It is one big sewer of bad ass mind destroying deflective deception. Coast to coast formula shill corporate journalists, always posing as friends or family, are now held in lower esteem than car salesmen, pimps and crack whores. America could in reality be called Scamerica! Every channel I clicked on had the same homogenized Baloneywood created divisive baloneyspeak and it all made me feel like barfing. I realized that as a culture we were all sick and drunk on the phony baloney wealth adoring crooked law enforcement loving Kool-Aid. The solution of course to a bad sickening drunk is a good puke. You have to toss the poisonous cookies out of your system."

Mr. Barf's barfing pink Phlem-ingo Independs party campaign sign.

Weekly Sunday purge ins...

To bring attention to their campaigns all of the candidates will hold a weekly Sunday purge in (its like a town meeting focus group) at the City Plaza until election day. Residents are encouraged to come and get it all out.

Barry Barf will host a special Cookie Toss.

A fourth candidate, Rabeed Reality,
was denied ballot access...

A fourth candidate, Rabeed Reality a Boycott candidate, was denied ballot access by Irunna Scam, the Supervisor of Elections, on the grounds that his candidacy was too logical and compelling and might cost her her cushy $100,000 plus a year job.

Such is the power of the signature on the paycheck.

Mr. Reality's platform can be seen here. Mr. Reality urges good old biblical shunning of the disingenuous corruptors ("They are in essence really boring people anyway." he says) and their crooked system, while at the same time taking peaceful positive action with like minded individuals outside of the hijacked system.

He said about the gangster politicians, "You can't wake up people who are pretending to be asleep. Its a guaranteed waste of time and energy."

Click on image for more info...

Click on image for more info...

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Please forward as widely as possible. Thank You, Warren Celli, Publisher.
Tail Wags and Dog Bites

The Saint Aug Dog's Absence Explained
If you missed me in the past eight months or so its because I was diagnosed with cancer (folicular lymphoma) last November. I was at death's door. After three monthly cycles of chemo— six were planned — I came down with a chemo induced lung disease (extreme shortness of breath) and a further resultant afib condition (because my heart now has to work overtime to compensate for the reduced oxygen supply of my lungs). I chose of course to forego the remaining three cycles of treatment and may or may not be in remission of the cancer. Many thanks to my immediate family and friends for all of their help and moral support; and of course all of the good folks at Cancer Specialists Of North Florida!

I am feeling better but at 76 years old I am less inclined to engage in the day to day rough and tumble of politics. For the record; I have always endeavored to make a better and more moral world. I recognize that a lot of my viewpoints are far from the co-opted mainstream but I do believe that they will stand the test of time. If I have offended any of you, you probably deserve it. Go look in a mirror. For those of you who have encouraged and supported me emotionally and financially throughout the years my heartfelt thanks, especially to David Thundershield Queen (deceased) and Jeff Masin, the One Man Band. Kudos also to all of the other good citizen activists that work so diligently to hold government accountable with special mention to Ed Slavin for his indomitable persistence.

Also for the record: I am for the Rule of Law and a strong Law Enforcement! I oppose strongly a corrupt Rule of Law and corrupt Law Enforcement!

Life's great! Stay busy! Have fun!
...and peace to you all!

The Day the Music Died...Elite's Goon Squad Betrays Democracy And Implements Social Fragmentation Policy...

Jeff Masin is a national treasure. Jeff, like so many wonderful, interesting, entertaining and talented individuals, was run out of town, along with thousands of others, by the forces of evil. All hail now to our heroic award winning (Officer of the Year) presumptive Thief of Police, Barney Fox, for being so zealously instrumental in enforcing transparently unconstitutional law that has stripped us all of our Constitutional rights, public commons and resident quality of life.


Xtrevilism at work. Jeff Masin, the One Man Band, being arrested under self anointed elite serving  unconstitutional law for playing music on Saint George Street (one of the nation's oldest public forums), by "Officer of the Year" Barney Fox.

Officer Fox's bravery, courage and propensity for deferentially currying the favor of his Mepublican handlers (on the street its called brown nosing) is without equal. Small wonder that scam "law enforcement" is held in such low esteem.

When the government is crooked then the cops are too! They are the rich man's muscle that oppresses you!

Click on image above.

Cop's that enforce self serving unconstitutional crooked law help create more social unrest and crime than they can ever hope to solve.

If Law Enforcement, at all levels, not just the cops on the street, wants the respect of citizens they will have to stop their surrogate excessive violence against citizens and instead push back on their corrupt politician masters who insist that they "instill fear" and keep enforcing self serving "legalized" theft and societally destructive laws. Especially those laws that enable and protect the citizen killing state Alcohol and Tobacco Drug Cartel that crooked cops lobby and work so hard to protect. A citizen killing drug cartel that is an integral part of the backbone of Saint Augustine's divisive tourist industry.
And stop the guilty until proven innocent enforcement of "legalized" gangster theft  Civil Asset Forfeiture laws that exist under the same phony "war on drugs" ruse. A no oversight scam that has now led to another no oversight scam called Operation Chokepoint.
Created by Presidential edict, with no enabling congressional legislation. Investigations are carried out in secret to crush dissent and the competition of government favored businesses. Legitimate American businesses are now subject to crippling economic sanctions like those imposed on Iran.

Can we not see the escalation here?
Can we not see what a scam ruse the "Rule of Law" has become?
Can we not see why so many people now think "cops suck" and law enforcement at all levels is held in such low esteem?
Can we not yet see the intentional  imposition of "perpetual conflict" to impose "full spectrum dominance"so as to destroy the fabric of America?
Can we not see that when we cheer and allow another's ox to be gored, for any reason, ours will be next?

There will be no healing until they stop the stealing!

"Guest: Just once, I would like to see Wall Street held accountable"

ROJJE (pronounced row-gee)

Remotely Operated Judge Jury & Executioner

Will this be your future?

If you cheered the explosive death of the alleged shooter of cops in Dallas by a remote controlled robot then you will certainly be a good candidate for having the ROJJE
(pronounced row-gee) chip punched into your head (it will be as simple and painless as a flu shot). It is very similar to the chip in cars that presently allows wealth enforcement to kill the engine in your car if they deem it necessary. Similarly, the ROJJE chip will allow wealth enforcement to kill your engine — stop your heart — if you are deemed a threat to them. No Judge! No Jury! Just the wealth enforcement executioner! Ka—boom!

The next time you see an over aggresive psychopath cop murder someone with a gun for a tail light infraction, ask yourself if you would be comfortable giving him control of your ROJJE chip.

The global contagion in immorality rolls on...
Concerned about your future?
The Onotron will possess the morality you allow!

Friendly to Business Interests

Originally created with good intent to counter the private sector Pinkertons, the FBI, like so many other once good government institutions, has become hijacked by xtrevilism and is now used for protecting and serving the elite. Can we all say "Two tier scam Rule Of Law!" 
Abolish The FBI?

What Happens To Tourism With The Next 911?

Dark Skies Are Threatening!
Saint Augustine needs to create a new city position...

"The Menticide Minder

External spheres of influence now have far more of a negative impact on the city of Saint Augustine than local corruptive forces, especially the top down orchestrated divisive brainwashing and its attendant societal corruption coming from the global self anointed elite. There is a dire need, not only in Saint Augustine, but all across the nation, for intelligent assessment and strategical planning to cope with this new paradigm. There is a reason we have become so divisive, fearful, hateful, wealth adoring, gullible, police state militarized etc., and why we have global pollution and gross environmental problems.

Sending the same old losers like Trump, Clinton, Rubio, Beruff, etc. to Washington via a rigged electoral system only exacerbates the problem.

An excellent overview of the true underpinnings of the phony "War on Terror", its blowback and our current brainwashing, written by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., can be found here...
It is not just about oil, it is about control and herd thinning. Read and heed...

And here is a good synopsis of the historical birth of this little discussed elite mindset that has blossomed into present day xtrevilism.

And here is a good example of hypocrisy and the Noble Lie in action, as the "Nobel Peace Laureate", in a shockingly conspicuous cover your ass move that will not work, bestows accolades on a partner in crime...

Obama, war criminal, bestows a Distinguished Public Service Award on fellow war criminal Henry Kissinger. Be sure to read the comments.

And where is the corporate media on this explosive story?
9/11: Bush's Guilt, and the 28 Pages

And lets not forget the role of Bush and Cheney, never mentioned by corporate menticide manipulating media shills as they always act dumbfounded as to the motive of those who, having been subjected to the illegal, immoral, and violent acts of aggression against them, act out in kind with counter violence towards America and its complicit allies.

Are your sons and daughters serving and dying for true patriotism and the real ideals of America, or have they been hoodwinked by and for the profits of; the Bush Cheney oil cartel, Carlyle Group, Haliburton, the Military Industrial Complex, and the pig bankers that fund and profit by it all?

... in a government of the corporations, by the
corporations, and for the corporations

Is The Legal Tide Turning?

"The parents of two people killed in the 2012 Benghazi attack filed suit Monday against Hillary Clinton, claiming the former secretary of state's "reckless handling" of classified information led "directly and proximately" to the deaths of their children.

Hmmmmm... direct and proximate cause. Where have we heard that language before?

Will parents of children killed and maimed in the illegal and immoral Iraq war that America was lied into sue Bush, Cheny, et al.?
Stay tuned...

More and more Americans are finally getting the big ugly intentionally contrived picture...

"America is Being Divided and Conquered Into Oblivion"

Self anointed elite herd thinning divisive foreign policy is now rapidly becoming domestic policy...

"The window of opportunity is now and the world needs you. All of you."

Google & Facebook CENSORSHIP!
I once believed that the internet was the salvation of humanity as it would give voice — the good, the bad, and the ugly — to people all around the world to resolve their differences. Alas! Like all other great institutions and inventions the internet is rapidly being hijacked by the rich and is now being used as a menticide tool. The terrorist elite will now decide what you can and can not see.

Will there be another 911?
Yes, without question!
Keep in mind that desperate people do desperate things.

The wealthy self anointed elite, as their lies unravel, and their mega media voice becomes less and less credible and more and more disingenuous each day (witness the transparently phony coverage of the rigged democratic convention), are feeling the squeeze.

In Summary: The phony war on terror and intentionally created divisiveness only begets more violence — don't buy into it:

You will only get more violence, more hatred, more thirst for revenge and more profit for the military industrial complex.

Instead: Love And Help One Another!
Saint Augustine should be working on a sustainable core agricultural and maritime based economy that benefits all citizens. Divisive tourism, subject to the vagaries of so many external forces, that benefits only the few wealthy elite and provides low paying no benefit jobs to the rest of us, should be reduced by 5% a year, You can not eat or pay your bills with empty trinket shops and empty hotel rooms.

Disclaimer: This web site is intended for thought provocation only and reflects the perceptions of the publisher. Nothing presented here is claimed to be absolute nor is it a recommendation for personal behavior. Viewers are solely responsible for their own perceptions and behaviors.
Saint Aug Dog™ is a trademark of Warren Celli.